Lending Library items are available to be checked out for two weeks to all North Dakota residents.

Handouts are available in either print or digital format. Printed handouts are free to keep. Digital materials are available to download at your convenience. Bullying/Respect Bullying/Respect

Online Resources include webinars, videos, website links, and other digital and web-based content. Click on a resource's title to go to that resource.

Lending Library - Books (19)

Lending Library - DVDs (33)

Handouts (5)

Online Resources (3)


Bobby and Mandee's Too Smart For Bullies
by Robert Kahn & Sharon Chandler
The author of this book suggests that parents and teachers read this book along with the children. It will help assist the children in dealing with bullies and what they should do when they encounter a bully.

Bully: It's Time To Take A Stand
by Lee Hirsch & Cynthia Lowen
A companion to the acclaimed film "Bully", this book brings the story of the documentary beyond the closing credits, continuing the national conversation inspired by the film.

Bullying Is Not a Fact of Life
by US Dept. Health & Human Services
If you are concerned that your child might be bullied or is bullying other children, the information in this booklet can help. This booklet describes the steps that parents and schools can take, together, to help prevent bullying.

Cliques, Phonies, and Other Baloney
by Trevor Romain
Written for every child who has ever felt shut out or trapped by a clique, this book blends humor with practical advice as it explains how to form positive, healthy relationships. Trevor Romain tackles this serious subject with wit and common sense, explaining what cliques are and why they exist. (8 & up)

Creative Partnerships For Prevention
by US Dept of Education
This resource guide provides information on the important role that the arts and humanities can play in prevention efforts and offers several activities that draw upon the arts and humanities to increase young people's resiliency. The activities provide in this guide are designed to provide readers with ideas for creating their own innovative learning and skill building activities.

Educating the Heart: Lessons to Build Respect and Responsibility
by Frank Siccone
Educating the Heart is a resource specifically designed to help teachers meet two of the most demanding challenges they face - building student's respect for themselves and others, and promoting both personal and social responsibility. It provides the tools teachers need to turn their classroom into a safe and productive learning environment where students are empowered to make a difference in their own lives as well as the lives of others. Grade level: 2-6

Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying
by Cheryl Dellasega and Charisse Nixon
Gossip, teasing, forming cliques, and other cruel behaviors are the basis of the relational aggression (bullying) among preteen and teenage girls, which harms both victim and aggressor. Until now, no one has been able to offer practical and effective solutions that stop girls from hurting each other with words and actions. In this book the authors explain not only how to prevent such behavior but also how to intervene should it happen, as well as overcome the culture that breeds it. The authors show that girls not only want to help rather than hurt each other, they can do so with guidance from concerned adults.

How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and other Meanies
by Kate Cohen-Posey, M.S. LMHC LMFT
Every young person will need this book at some time in his or her life! It covers annoying name calling, vicious prejudice, explosive anger, dangerous situations, and causes of difficult behavior; contains more than 12 ways for melting meanness; uses dozens of dialogues and practice exercises that children enjoy reading; shows young people how to put spiritual truths into action; gives parents, teachers, and counselors a method to help young people help themselves.

Just Kidding
by Trudy Ludwig
A rare look at emotional bullying among boys from the best-selling author of My Secret Bully. D.J.'s friend Vince has a habit of teasing D.J. and then saying, Just kidding!" as if it will make everything okay. It doesn't, but D.J. is afraid that if he protests, his friends will think he can't take a joke. With the help of his father, brother, and an understanding teacher, D.J. progresses from feeling helpless to taking positive action, undermining the power of two seemingly harmless words. Trudy Ludwig takes another look at relational aggression, the use of relationships to manipulate and hurt others, this time from the boy's point of view.

Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades
by Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert
Little Girls Can Be Mean is the first book to tackle the unique social struggles of elementary-aged girls, giving you the tools to help your child become stronger, happier, and better able to enjoy friendships and handle social cruelty. The author's simple, four-step plan will help you become a problem-solving partner with your daughter. Also offer tips for educators and insights that girls can use to confront social difficulties in an empowered way.

Mom, They're Teasing Me
by Michael Thompson, Ph.D.
Almost everyone agrees: Childhood can be a traumatic time. Kids frequently face peer rejection, name-calling, bullying, after-school fights, esteem-crushing cliques, and malicious exclusion by the "popular" kids. This is a specific, hands-on guide for parents who want to empower their children with the tools they need to cope with social cruelty.

Odd Girl Out
by Rachel Simmons
If your daughter has ever come home from school upset because her friends didn't walk with her to lunch, if she has wanted to stay home or has run up to her room in tears and won't tell you why, you may need this book. Naming the problem is often the first step in solving it. This book not only names it, but describes it, understands it and offers advice on how to deal with it.

Perfect Targets: Asperger Syndrome and Bullying
by Rebekah Heinrichs
Most child and adolescents with high-functioning autism and Asperger Syndrome are victims of bullying at school and in the community. This book takes an honest look at the different types of bullying and the actions adults must take to curb bullying, thereby helping to prevent the often lifelong effects of this insidious form of behavior on victims.

Queen Bees and Wannabes
by Rosalind Wiseman
When Rosalind Wiseman first published Queen Bees & Wannabes, she fundamentally changed the way adults look at girls' friendships and conflicts - from how they choose their best friends, how they express their anger, their boundaries with boys, and their relationships with parents. Wiseman showed how girls of every background are profoundly influenced by their interactions with one another. Now, Wiseman has revised and updated her groundbreaking book for a new generation of girls and explores: How girls' experiences before adolescence impact their teen years, future relationships, and overall success; The different roles girls play in and outside of cliques as Queen Bees, Targets, and Bystanders, and how this defines how they and others are treated; Girls' power plays - from fake apologies to fights over IM and text messages; and Where boys fit into the equation of girl conflicts and how you can help your daughter better hold her own with the opposite sex.

Sexual Harassment and Teens
by Susan Strauss with Pamela Espeland
An excellent resource for all professionals working with teens. This comprehensive program brings people together to explore and understand the causes and consequences of sexual harassment and sexual violence.

Sticks and Stones
by Scott Cooper
This unique book will help you give your children the verbal tools to counter the hurtful words others tell them - and that they tell themselves. Each chapter, based on the characteristics of a particular bird, uses a wealth of examples, sample scripts, and imaginative, easy-to-follow exercises to give kids the confidence to speak up for themselves more assertively, yet gently and effectively.

The Bully Free Classroom
by Allan L. Beane, Ph.D.
Bullying is a big problem in schools today - positive and practical, this solution-filled book can make your classroom a place where all students are free to learn without fear - and you're free to teach because education, not behavior, is the focus. Includes reproducible masters. Grade level: K-8

The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander
by Barbara Coloroso
It's the deadliest combination going: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, and adults who see the incident as a normal part of childhood. All it takes to understand that this is a recipe for tragedy is a glance at headlines across the country. In this updated edition, which includes a new section on cyberbullying, the author gives parents, caregivers, educators--and most of all, kids--the tools to break the cycle of violence.

Why Is Everybody Always Picking On Me
by Terrence Webster Doyle
This book is filled with stories and activities to help kids learn to deal with bullies. It explains why bullies and victims behave as they do, and uses questions, role-playing, and other activities to teach kids how to resolve conflicts nonviolently. Also useful for parents, teachers, and counselors. A Benjamin Franklin Award Winner. (6 & up, parents & professionals)


Be Cool - High School - Coping with Anger (Module 2)
High School
With this module you will help students understand why people become angry, how to distinguish fair from unfair anger, and how to recognize when someone's anger is becoming dangerous.

Be Cool - High School - Coping with Bullying (Module 4)
High School
This module will help students understand bullying and learn why people bully. Most importantly, they will learn to recognize dangerous bullies. With the information provided in the vignettes and follow-up activities, you will help minimize the negative impact of bullying on your students. The results of being the victim of a bully can include severe distress, physical injury and damage to self-esteem. In this DVD your students will see three examples of the best solutions to bullying: anti-victim strategies, ignore/proceed, and get help, modeled by peers their own age.

Be Cool - High School - Coping with Teasing (Module 1)
High School
With this module you'll help students understand teasing and why people tease, distinguish friendly from hurtful teasing, and learn how to effectively deal with this behavior using a variety of "cool" responses.

Be Cool - Losing It! Disrespect Part 2 (Module 2)
Middle School
In part 1, Charlie almost lets himself be talked into helping some more popular peers cheat on their homework. His unrealistic appraisal of his own ability to attract friends fills his head with self-talk that supports giving in to the extortion. However, instead of losing it, Charlie uses rational self-talk to get in control of his thoughts, himself and the problem. In part 2, after allowing her mind and her thoughts to be unnecessarily influenced by peer pressure, Morganne uses Be Cool self-talk strategies to neutralize her friends' coercion to drink alcohol. More than modeling good refusal skills, Morganne models self-talk skills related to self-control and self-respect.

Be Cool - Losing It! Failure/Frustration (Module 3)
Middle School
In part 1, Evan uses Be Cool self-talk skills to cope with frustration. Instead of letting his anger and his thoughts get the best of him and losing it when life seems to conspire against him, Evan keeps his cool by challenging the irrational and exaggerated thoughts that often accompany feelings of frustration. In part 2, Evan overestimates his abilities as a pool player and sets himself up for failure when he challenges a player whose abilities are way over his head. We see that failure has a dramatic effect on his future behavior. Irrational self-talk will lead to losing it. Be Cool self-talk leads to the realistic acceptance of failure and risk-taking as integral to high levels of achievement.

Be Cool - Losing It! Rejection (Module 4)
Middle School
In part 1, Troy loses it when he allows his own distinctive self-talk to interpret rejection by a close friend to be a sign that he is totally unlikable. When he uses Be Cool self-talk instead, Troy realizes that, although the rejection is painful and will take some time to get over, it's not the end of the world and he can handle it. In part 2, Mindy is rejected by peers she thought were her friends. She loses it when she allows irrational self-talk to support her knee-jerk violent response to get even. When she uses Be Cool self-talk, the rejection is put in perspective, cooling her anger AND keeping her from turning a problem she could handle into one that she couldn't.

Be Cool - Lower - Coping with Bullying (Module 3)
Lower Elementary
Bullies can make life miserable, even dangerous, for children in the lower elementary grades. In this module, students will learn how to use the anti-victimization strategies with unknown bullies and a 4-Step Assertion Plan to cope with bullying from friends.

Be Cool - Lower - Coping with Teasing (Module 2)
Lower Elementary
For children in kindergarten through second grade, teasing can be an everyday headache. If not controlled, it can result in aggressive behavior and a damaged self-concept. In this module, your students will see how to handle teasing from friends in a COOL/assertive way and will learn that teasing usually gets worse with a HOT or COLD response.

Be Cool - Middle School - Coping with Criticism (Module 1)
Middle School
Hearing criticism is especially hard for middle school students and often triggers anger and unnecessary conflict. This program will show them how to distinguish valid from invalid criticism, and how to respond in a "cool," constructive way to both.

Be Cool - Middle School - Coping with Teasing (Module 2)
Middle School
The middle school child takes everything personally. Not letting peer teasing get to them is an essential skill. Instead of reacting like a victim (COLD) or blowing up (HOT) and encouraging more teasing, your students will learn four ways to be disarmingly cool.

Be Cool - Upper - Coping with Bullying (Module 3)
Upper Elementary
In this module, your students will see how to avoid being "bully magnets" by assuming an anti-victim demeanor, and see the 4-Step Plan in action to counter the bullying peer pressure of friends. They'll watch Willie fend off the pressure to drink and see Brian "Talk the Talk" and then "Walk the Walk" (go to authority) to retrieve his stolen backpack.

Be Cool - Upper - Coping with Teasing (Module 2)
Upper Elementary
In this module, your students will watch how to cope with teasing and how to use the 4-Step Plan to stop the hurtful teasing. They will also learn that a COLD or HOT response to teasing usually results in more teasing and loss of self-esteem.

Broken Toy
30 minutes
Children cannot learn if they're afraid to go to school. A lonely 12-year-old boy is harassed both verbally and physically by older children. One day, the bullies go too far and an accident occurs. Performed by actual school children, this dramatic video will move and educate children like nothing they have experienced before. Grade level: 4-8

Teaching Tolerance
This is the story of Jamie Nabozny. His ordeal began in 6th grade and only got worse in high school. Years of unrelenting bullying took its toll, but Jamie decided to take a stand -- against the bullying he endured and the bullying that he knew other students endured. He went to court and fought for the right to be safe at school, even if you are gay. His inspiring story offers hope for the millions of gay and lesbian students who still don't feel safe at school.

Bully: It's Time To Take A Stand
99 minutes
A beautifully cinematic, character-driven documentary following five kids and families over the course of a school year. Offering insight into different facets of America's bullying crisis.

Bullying Prevention Program: No Fishing Allowed!
90 minutes
No Fishing Allowed is a violence prevention program that addresses various elements of bullying behaviors. Bullying can be found in every school in the world. This program uses many kinds of bait - a multi-media presentation, bibliotherapy, pointed class discussions - to teach kids how to respect their peers and when necessary, report bullying to an adult. Makes the very difficult job of teaching bullying concepts to kids a much easier task to handle, and when the curriculum is completed, every child who has used it should be safer and happier.

Bullying, Teasing & Put-Downs: What Victims Can Do
GO Media
This fast-paced and highly engaging program gets young teens thinking about the pervasive problems of bullying, teasing and putdowns. Always cognizant of keeping children safe, this program suggests the assertiveness and decision-making tools kids need to handle bullying behavior effectively.

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz: Did You Hear Aboutů?
15 minutes
Follow the trail of gossip as it races through a school from child to child leaving confusion and hurt feelings in its wake. This lively program uses dramatizations to help youngsters begin to consider and discuss how it feels to be the target of rumors and gossip.

Cyberbully: Words Can Hurt
87 minutes
When Taylor Hillridge gets a computer for her birthday, she cannot wait to explore the social freedom at her fingertips. But neither she nor her mom could have ever predicted the toll of freedom would take on her and her family. Taylor soon finds herself the victim of betrayal and bullying on a social website.

Cyberstalking & Bullying
20 minutes
With technology comes great freedom, but also great responsibility. Within seconds of logging on to a computer, children may be exposed to graphic language, hurtful gossip, pornography, and predators. This program examines cyberbullying. Young teens share stories about being the victims of embarrassing photos and cruel gossip spread on the Internet. One former cyberbully expresses regrets for her actions: "How could I have been so mean?"

Defending Yourself: Bullying, Teasing & Put-Downs
35 minutes
This rigorous video forces children to think by posing important questions about bullies and their victims, while also offering children positive suggestions on how to resolve bullying behavior in safe yet effective ways. Through testimonial interviews, children share their experiences with bullying, teasing, and put-downs and comment on what worked to stop it, and what did not. In addition to the children's testimonials, counselors and youth workers offer their expertise on why bullies act out and what makes someone a victim of this behavior.

Listen To What I Just Heard! Rumors and Gossip
11 minutes
Young children usually accept everything they hear as the truth. Yet often the story that's being told isn't true at all it's a rumor. Likening the spread of rumors and gossip to the game telephone, this music-filled program helps young children understand how rumors and gossip can lead to hurt feelings and the importance of asking questions and setting the record straight before accepting a story as true.

Odd Girl Out
85 minutes
A mother and her daughter confront the intimidation of teen peer pressure and the emotionally brutalizing social rituals of high school. A well-adjusted teenager becomes depressed when she's ostracized by her friends at school. Her mother must help her daughter regain her confidence.

Peace Talks 4: Dealing with Bullies, Troublemakers, and Dangerous Situations
30 minutes
Bullies are no longer the big loud kids who like to intimidate and push other kids around on the playground. Now bullies travel in gangs and often pack deadly weapons. The rules for engagement have changed and this program explores how to best handle bullies and protect victims without getting hurt. Teens learn how to recognize potentially dangerous situations and avoid violence by reasonably predicting the consequences of their actions.

Peace Talks 6: Handling Dating Pressures and Harassment
30 minutes
Handling Dating Pressures and Harassment deals with the difficult issues of sexual harassment, sexual coercion, and date rape, which are occurring with surprising frequency in the nation's schools. Discussion outlines typical types of harassment and abuse which occur in the teen years, and successful strategies for dealing with verbal and physical attacks. Teens learn how to say no to abuse and the importance of building healthy positive relationships.

Real People: Bullying, The Internet and You
(2005) 23 minutes
With the remarkable speed of the Internet at their disposal, kids are spreading rumors and gossip, embarrassing, and tormenting their peers with a newfound anonymity that emboldens them. This program takes a look bullying and harassment as it manifests itself on the Internet.

Silent On The Sidelines
21 minutes
What is it about bullying behavior that is so powerful it silences the people who witness it? This program, designed to help students and staff create a school climate that stops bullying behavior, will help answer these questions. After viewing this video students will better understand: why bullying should not be tolerated by those who witness it, the reasons students often stay silent, strategies to prevent bullying, the power of the group in combating bullying, and how adults and students can work together.

Stop Bullying Now: Take A Stand, Lend A Hand
36 minutes
A series of 12 animated episodes depicting a group of characters at a school who experience bullying first-hand and what they do to help resolve the situation.

Stopping Verbal Bullying
20 minutes
The pain bullies cause is not always physical, and the weapons they use are often invisible: teasing, exclusion, and name-calling. Their victims may experience a loss of confidence, a drop in grades, and a fear of people and school. In this program, bullies and victims speak out about the nature of bullying and its devastating legacy.

The Bully Proof Kit
Human Relations Media
The Bully Proof Kit was carefully designed to give instructors all the tools they need for easy, flexible implementation. The format of this multi-part kit will save valuable preparation time, allowing teachers to get straight to the point: to show young people how to deal with bullies in a healthy, assertive manner.

The Bully Smart Series
4 DVDs, 15 minutes each
This 4-DVD set covers many aspects of bullying and offers possible solutions. In "Are You a Bully?", a series of vignettes shows that bullying goes beyond physical confrontation to include teasing, picking on other children, intimidation, threatening, leaving others out, and spreading rumors. "Five Ways to Stop a Bully" offers specific coping strategies. Viewers are encouraged to ignore the bully, ask the bully to stop, unite in confronting the bully, pretend the bully doesn't bother you and, as a final resort, tell a trusted adult. Mention is also made of cyber-bullying. Viewers learn how to be proactive in "Don't Stand By". They are encouraged to help those being bullied, talk to the bully, and inform adults of the situation. In "Help! I'm a Bully", three children admit to bullying and their actions, and the impact of those actions, are shown. Their recognition of the problem and decision to stop the bullying behavior is also explored.

The First and Last Day of Middle School
14 minutes
It happens every day in schools all over the planet. Some younger or smaller-built kid goes into the restroom and encounters some older students who seem to forget how much they hated it years ago, when older, bigger kids picked on them. Surveys show that many kids try not to use the school bathroom at all if they can help it. This is the story of a small-built boy, whom on his first day of middle school, learns first-hand just how scary a school restroom can be. For this child, the terrifying experience will last just a few minutes, but for his tormentors, the memory of that awful day will last forever.

When You See a Bully
14 minutes
Show even the youngest children that it is possible to stand up for themselves and others when they see bullying happen. This program uses three age-appropriate vignettes to demonstrate precisely what youngsters can do to when they see bullying and say "It's NOT OKAY with me!"


10 Tips To Help Stop Bullying
Channing Bete
This booklet teaches parents about the type of lasting harm bullying can cause, and why it's everyone's responsibility to help prevent it. Booklet provides a list of tips that include explaining to children the different types of bullying and why bullying is wrong, building children's social skills, recognizing warning signs, working with school staff, and getting involved in school and community efforts. (English)
To request a copy of this resource, visit or call Pathfinder and ask for Handout #2

Bullying Cibern├ętico y Ni├▒os con Discapacidades (Cyberbullying and Children with Disabilities: What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Children)
Internet se ha convertido en un lugar para que los ni├▒os publiquen comentarios malos e inapropiados sobre sus compa├▒eros. Es importante que los padres de ni├▒os con discapacidades aprendan lo que es el cyberbullying y c├│mo responder. Este folleto de 8 p├íginas tiene informaci├│n para los padres sobre c├│mo abordar el acoso cibern├ętico con su hijo y qu├ę pasos tomar si su hijo est├í siendo intimidado en l├şnea. (The internet has become a place for children to post mean and inappropriate comments about their peers. It is important that parents of children with disabilities learn what cyberbullying is and how to respond. This 8-page booklet has information for parents on how to address cyberbullying with your child and what steps to take if your child is being bullied online.) (Spanish)
To request a copy of this resource, visit or call Pathfinder and ask for Handout #150

Bullying: Keeping Tabs On Getting And Giving Respect
Channing Bete
This quick-reference resource quickly and easily enlightens teen readers on the different forms of bullying, helps build prevention and intervention skills, and guides teens on what to do if they experience or witness bullying. Stresses the importance of responsible decision making. Tabbed table of contents lets teens flip right to the information they need. (English)
To request a copy of this resource, visit or call Pathfinder and ask for Handout #32

Cyberbullying and Children with Disabilities
The internet has become a place for children to post mean and inappropriate comments about their peers. It is important that parents of children with disabilities learn what cyberbullying is and how to respond. This 8-page booklet has information for parents on how to address cyberbullying with your child and what steps to take if your child is being bullied online. (English)

Cyberbullying: Keeping Tabs On Digital Safety
Channing Bete
This engaging quick-reference tool helps teens understand what cyberbullying is and how to avoid it. Guide helps readers understand the negative impact of cyberbullying, how they may have played a part in cyberbullying in the past, and what type of action is appropriate if they become a victim or witness of cyberbullying. Tabbed table of contents lets teens flip right to the information they need. (English)
To request a copy of this resource, visit or call Pathfinder and ask for Handout #42

Online Resources

Bullying Prevention: What Parents Need to Know by PACER Center

Watch PACER Center's Bullying Prevention: What Parents Need to Know on Bullying can be an isolating experience ┬Ś not just for the kids involved ┬Ś but for their parents, too. Fortunately, there is help. This workshop offers a comprehensive overview for parents to learn what they can do to address and prevent bullying. Topics include definition and roles, laws and policy, ways to help your child, working with the school, students with disabilities and online safety.
Website provides information from various government agencies on what bullying is, what cyberbullying is, who is at risk, and how you can prevent and respond to bullying.

Understand Cyberbullying in College

This site provides tips, tools and solutions for recognizing and stopping bulling in Social Media and online. 


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Recursos en espanol (Resources in Spanish)